First, make your quick toppings: For pickled onions, stir hot water, sugar, vinegar, and salt until dissolved; pour over sliced onions and let sit. For slaw, toss cabbage with vinegar, sugar, salt, and celery seed – done in 2 minutes!

Preheat oven to 400°F (205°C) and line a large baking sheet with parchment or foil. Grab your biggest portobellos – the wider, the better!

Gently twist off stems. Using a spoon, scrape out every bit of the dark gills (this is key – they turn everything grey and add bitterness). Lightly brush both sides of each cap with olive oil and sprinkle the tops with smoked paprika and pepper.

Place mushrooms gill-side DOWN on the baking sheet and bake 10 minutes. This forces out a surprising amount of liquid – you’ll see it pool.

While they bake, warm your pulled pork in a skillet with the ¾ cup barbecue sauce until hot and sticky. Taste and add more sauce if you like it extra saucy.

Remove mushrooms from oven. Carefully flip them over – pour off the liquid that collected on the sheet. Pat the insides completely dry with paper towels. Your mushroom “bowls” are now ready!

Sprinkle 2–3 tablespoons of shredded cheddar in the bottom of each cap – this creates a cheesy barrier so the pork doesn’t make the mushroom soggy.

Pile a generous ⅓–½ cup of the saucy pulled pork on top of the cheese, pressing lightly so it stays put. Really mound it high – these are meant to be overflowing!

Top each with another 2–3 tablespoons of cheddar. Bake 10–12 minutes until cheese is fully melted, then switch to BROIL for 2–3 minutes until the pork edges crisp and cheese is golden-brown and bubbly (watch closely!).

Let rest 8 minutes (they’re nuclear inside). Top with a big forkful of crunchy vinegar slaw, a tangle of pickled red onions, an extra drizzle of barbecue sauce, and serve with forks and lots of napkins – prepare for pure silence followed by groans of happiness!